To conform or not to

Do you realize that the green colour that you see on a leaf or the beautiful red you see on a rose actually does not belong to the leaf or the flower? The colour you see is the colour that has been rejected by the object. The green of the leaf is the frequency of light that the leaf does not absorb. The red of that rose gently swaying in your fron yard is the colour the rose has rejected. You are perceived by what others receive from you.

I use this as an analogy to teach my kids good behaviour. These aspects are not immediately apparent to them. They find it difficult to comprehend that it doesn't matter how good they think they are. What matters is what people get to see.

But as I teach them this I realize that perhaps I am giving them the wrong advise. After all conforming is not such a good thing always. People who conform are doomed to mediocrity for life. Aren't they?

The pragmatic thing, of course, is to conform or break out as demanded by the situation. This is rather difficult to teach!

I think I am worrying too much. After all, grass grows by itself.

Parenthood is one difficult responsibility.

Making kids eat their vegetables

It takes a great patience to see my kids eat. Especially, when they have something totally unpalatable - to them, at least - like vegetables. They go real sloooow. It is easy to lose your cool when you suddenly remember that you did the same when you were their age. Parenthood teaches you patience.

To encourage my kids to eat their vegetables, I tell them what one of my professor told our class all those years ago. It was a free period and we were a noisy bunch. This professor was passing the class and peeped in to see what was all the noise was about. He then gave us a small but stern lecture the gist of which I will never forget in my life. He said, "if you abhor study why don't you complete your studies as soon as possible and get it out of the way?"

I tell my kids something similar:

You like ice-cream, don't you? How do you like to eat it? One lick at a time. You savor every lick before returning for the next. Why do you eat ice-cream that way? Because you want it to last forever. You hate vegetables, don't you? So what should you do? You want it to last forever? So? Eat it as fast as possible, so that you can get it out of your sight as quickly as possible. Do what you like for as long as possible. Complete what you do not like as quickly as possible. Especially when not doing (or eating) is not an option.

They seem to understand. Putting it into practice will take time, I know.

Actually, this lesson is applicable to us grown-ups also. How many times have you found an excuse of not doing something that is required to be done but you dislike the act? Like taking down the curtains for a wash. Or standing in the queue to pay the water bill (if you are not using the direct debut, that is)? You would rather do something that you enjoy. Watching your favourite sport being aired live, for instance. This despite the knowledge that issues do not go away or get resolved on their own and will keep gnawing at you till done.